Bekaverse

whelp, i am sitting here in the hallway of the Widsoe building. It is now 10:42 and I was supposed to print my poster for class at 10:00. My professor knew I coming, where is he?

The past two days have been rough. I have had to work on my Animal Behavior paper non-stop it seems. The past two nights I have gone to bed after 2 am. Which luckily I have not had to do at any other time in the semester. But now I am done with the paper and poster (if i could just print it off). It feels good, but not too good because I now have to start on my 2 other papers due next week…ugh.

I also have some exciting and some not-so-exciting news. First, the good news (because I like good news) I got another job starting this spring/summer and going into the fall. I will be working in the Mammal collection at the Monte L. Bean Life Science Museum. So I am excited to start off on a new adventure. I think it is about time that I don’t work the education job and the museum. I need something new. Don’t get me wrong I love the job, just not as much as I used to. So most likely I will only work in the collection in the Fall.

Now the not-so-exciting news, I am not going to Mexico with one of my professors. I was really looking forward to it and thought that I had a good chance of going, but apparently not (just my luck). I also thought the same way about the Patagonia field study that I applied for last year. Maybe I am not supposed to do field research (but I really want to). but this is also good in that I can go to Michelle’s wedding. Maybe that is the whole purpose behind me not being able to go. (I will just think of it that way).
but don’t worry Rob. I will follow your advice and still get my passport renewed. I am sure it will come in handy one day. =) I should just make my own trip to Canada this summer. How much fun would that be?? WAY FUN!

Anyways, I got to be on my way, I have better stuff to do than to wait for my professor. Its his fault if I cant print my poster off today. =)

I thought everything turned out how it was supposed to. But then its getting all messed up again. But i hope it is for the best.

I really wish i could live by the motto “HAKUTA MATATA” I wish i had no worries for the rest of my days. My problem free philosophy. If only… But it is true, I live in the real world where I actually have to work for what I want. I don’t mind working and doing the very lowly, behind the scenes work, some of it I actually find relaxing (i’m crazy!) But I don’t enjoy it when I feel like no progress is being made in accomplishing my goal. This is currently how my research is going. I am getting through samples and getting them prepped. But there are so many that I feel like I’m not getting any closer to getting done. Its very discouraging.

In my classes I am doing average, but I feel like I could be doing so much better. I should also be putting in more time. My animal disease class have been very neglected; i did horrible on all three tests and I am prepared to fail my next one this next week. So I am hoping to get some good studying in this weekend. I think i am going to be pretty lonely this weekend to. I think two of my roomies are going to one of their aunt’s house. Then my room roomie is probably going home…im really for an exciting weekend.

But i am excited for next monday, that will be the day that my mom and sister will get here. then i can spend all week with them. =) I need it.

To all those who read this (well, the one person that reads this…Hi bob-O!) this weekend I have felt like a back stabber to my room mates. I don’t think I personally did anything…but things just happened to me to make me feel like this. I never thought I would be in this position. I felt like I caused my room mates to lose hope and crush their hearts. I didn’t do it on purpose, I didn’t think things were in my control. Hopefully I will get through this and things will end up like they are supposed to. Sorry, I did not do anything, they just happened. I can’t be responsible for others actions or words.

Happy Daylight savings!! **REMEMBER** SPRING FORWARD an hour

whew, yesterday was a long day! I went on 24 hours with a total for 4 hours of sleep the night before…ugh. So here my story begins:
I was excited for Saturday. I was going to see a black bear (and hopefully cubs if she had any this year). I knew there were going to be a lot of people at this place with the black bear because the Professor in charge invites everybody upon everybody to come (Dr. Roeder calls it his “ward/family reunion”). So originally I did not want to go, BUT James (a kid that i work in a lab with) and I are in doing a research project on black bears so we need samples. So that was my whole purpose of going was to get those samples. I was excited to actually do some field work. In order to get to the meeting place at 10 am we had to leave here around 5am. James, his wife, and their cute little boy picked me up just after 5. We got to the meeting place and after Dr. Black’s “grand” speech to the masses, we had to drive another 10-15 minutes up the mountain; on a super muddy, watery, cliffy, “oh my gosh i might fall to my death” road.
THEN, Dr. Black tell everyone that it will be about a 3/4 mile hike in. So We all thought it would be a pretty short trip. So James, Miranda (his wife) and I all packed light. We had little water, no food and only one bottle for their little boy. Well, it turned in to a 5 hour hike up and down mountains in snow….i hate Dr. Black. for half the hike the trackers (Dr. Black’s favorites, family and the peeps from Department of Natural resources) didn’t even have a signal for the bear. When they did find it, we pretty much made a big U…I hate Dr. Black.
THEN when they did drug the bear up, James and I were supposed to be the ones to take the samples. We were the last ones there because we forgot the backpack with the sample packet at our last stop so James had to go and run back for it. But we got to the bear just 10 min after it has been down. James and I ran down there to see and they were already taking the samples WE were supposed to take…THEY COULDN’T HAVE WAITED!!! I was on a cliff looking down at them taking our samples. I want to jump down on those people and rip their faces off and say, “what do you think you doing.” I was so angry…I was supposed to be the one down there with the bear taking the pictures and samples……i hate Dr. Black. So many things got screwed up that day…I hate Dr. Black. the only think James and I got to do was take claw samples…ooo…so exciting. So James, Miranda and I wanted to get outta there. All three of us were so frustrated the whole hike! We were actually only expecting to be there until no later than 1pm. We finally made it back to our truck about 5:30pm. So left ASAP before more idiots messed up the crappy road. Our plan was to be home by 9pm.
BUT, we got home and 4:30am this morning….I hate Dr. Black. All day long it was nice and bright and sunny, I even got a little sun burned. We were driving home and it was still nice weather but we could see some clouds coming in and I was thinking, “we’ll get some nice rain on the way home.” So after three hours (approx. 8:45pm) we got to the mouth of Spanish Fork canyon and low and behold the canyon was closed due to weather. they said it would open up in about 3 hours and even after that the roads wouldn’t still be great. So we decided against it. Once you are at the mouth of that canyon there is no alt. route…
So we thought to back track an hour, take I-70 west to I-15 then go up to Provo. With clear roads we figured it would take us 4-5 hours, about the same time it would if we were to wait in Price for the canyon to open up (but still bad roads). So we all agreed to go that route, figuring the storm wouldn’t hit us….little did we know it would. We spent about 2 hours on I-70 going 20 miles/hour. So definitly took us a lot longer than planned. We eventually got into Provo at 4:30am…it was a long day.
My lack of sleep the night before and the energy spent on the hike in the snow and sun didn’t help either.
So they dropped me off then I went straight for bed and slept until 12pm. I tried getting up for church, but my body would not let me. At 12 i was awake for about an hour, took a shower, ate. then fell asleep again until 5:30. I have been awake since then, but am now ready to sleep again….ahh sleep.

To this story, there may be minor details left out by accident (or on purpose), but its the jist of the story. As for those random “i hate Dr. Black” blurbs in there. I probably really hated him yesterday (with a passion), but now I have them outta of my system. I still dislike him, just not a super strong hatred.

There is no way denying that it was definitly monday today. First off, i went to bed at my normal time and was totally capable of getting up for my eight o’clock class. But i accidently set my alarm for pm not am. so i woke up at 8:40 am; with only 10 minutes left of my class. Then i went through the rest of the day well. My friend in english reminded me of my library research class at five today. so i went home at 2 after my last class. i knew i had to be at the library at 5pm. 5:15 rolls around and i was still sitting on the couch working on stuff. i got so angry at myself. i forgot!!! i never forget! i am turning into my mother!! ahhh!! just kidding.

THEN, I went to work to send an email out asking if anyone can work for me tomorrow night so i can attend another library class. someone called back and said they would work for me if i worked wednesday night. But i asked my friend Matt to work that shift for me too. so anyway, i left and i later text matt to make sure he was going to work on wednesday. a few txt go back and forth and then he calls. He was wondering if those text messages were ment for him. and then i realize i have been sending text messages to the wrong matt. i felt like a idiot, i didnt even realize it was a different matt. i have two Matts in my phone: Matt E and Matt M. so i was sending txt to Matt E when i ment to send them to Matt M. so yeah….i felt so stupid that i didnt realize i was sending them to the wrong person until he called me.
BIGGEST SPAZ RIGHT HERE!!
so later i called the right matt and talked to him and told him my embarassing moment. then that whole conversation i thought it was tuesday. but no…its still monday.
maybe deep down my brain was hoping it was tuesday, so i could be out of this monday mess.

just was not my day.

i have hated being a girl yesterday and today. mainly becuase last night i was angry at my room mate for being angry at me. How stupid is that? Only girls would be that stupid. Plus, i thought it she had a stupid reason for being angry at me. she just took something totally out of context, i guess she cant always understand my sarcasm. sad…. anyways she snapped back at me and got up and left. oh well, what could i do?
this is the part of being a girl that i dont like. stupid emotions. At times i like them, but then when you get those idiotic emotions; thats when becoming a girl sucks.
i better finish…my room mate really wants to know what i am writing. i dont know if i should let her see quite yet. but if she already looks at my post then she will know what i was writing.
GOOD NIGHT!

well my week has been pretty good. especially since my english class was cancelled today. whoo hoo! i dont think that class would be so bad if i liked my teacher, but she is such a witch. she gives good criticism but she delivers it in a very mean way that dosent make you feel good. anyways, i just gotta suck it up. but i still dont like her.

but tuesday was an awesome day. it was my day of treasures. =) i found two amazing things. the first, i was walking home from class and i looked on the side of the walk way in the bushes and found a gigantic praying mantis. i have never seen one so big in my life! it was awesome! it is about 4.5-5 inches long. it is a chinese mantis is which is an introduced species to north america and is the biggest. so i took it to work and now its our pet.

treasure # 2. this one was just as cool! as we were closing up at the museum someone came from upstairs and told us there was a bat! so what do i do?? of course i grabbed one of the gift shops butterfly nets and run upstairs to catch it. it couldnt fly well so it was probably injured. I put in a container, it was a silverd-haired bat. I took it home cuz i wanted to take pictures of it. then i put it on a tree and it just climbed up and i never saw it again…but it was so cute!! that was a good day. =)

why cant i just live in a world free of emotions (except happiness)? where i dont get over-whelmed. where i dont get hurt by other peoples actions. where i dont care what others think. where i dont get homesick. i want a world where i am happy all day long =)

i tell ya, it would be a lot less complicated life for me. but then i guess that would defeat the purpose.

gosh! i am a person that does not do well in heat. so if i am outside i want to come into a nice cool apartment. and i completely understand that in order to cool the apartment it cost money. and i am willing to pay utilities in order to be cool. but my room mates apparently dont feel the same way i do. well i was gone this past weekend so i turned off the a/c because my room mates where out of the town too. but they came home. they turned it back on and i thought all was good. THEN! i come home today and i was hot, i cooled down very little from outside. i am just unpacking (non-strenuous work) and i am sweatn’ up a storm. i decide to look at the thermostat. they had it up close to 80 DEGREES! what the heck! i am supposed to live in that temp! no sane person should have to leave in a house that warm during the summer. when it was set around 73 degrees i was still sweating in my sleep. ugh! if i had no choice i would put up with the warmth, but i dont have too, so i shouldnt have too.

so what i decided to do is to just turn it down again to about 74 degrees. well see how things turn out after this. i will have to confront them about it. i also have a feeling that i am not the DREAM room mate they were planning on. i am carefree, just not when i am sweating a storm. =)

my last big post that got lost i was also venting a little on my new room mates too. because i believe one of my room mates made one of the biggest mistakes she could have while living in college housing…..she bought a treadmill….oh and this isnt some little treadmill, its big. so we had a little problem compromising on where to put it. i came home one day and there was a couch in my way and the treadmill in the middle of everything. (well is like the first thing you would see when you walked in) i was not to keen on that set up. so we ended up compromising.

the last big thing with my room mates it that i feel like the fourth wheel on a three wheeled car (like the one on Mr. Bean). the girls in the other room always have their room shut, they always do things and dont bother to ask me to join them, just stuff like that makes me feel like a loner. thats why i am excited to start school tomorrow! whoo hoo! hopefully things will get better. now i am off to a BBQ with real friends, whoo hoo BBQ! i am hungry!

i had a really good post all written up, then i tried to publish it and my internet gave out for like a second now i will have to write it all over again. and it was a fairly big post….sucky!

i will write it later.