Archive for August, 2001
This is pretty kewl
This is from :
Name Anylysis
http://www.kabalarians.com
Your name of Robert gives you the desire to understand and help others with their problems but, at the same time, you can become too involved in their problems and, as a result, worry too much. This name creates a pleasant, easy-going, yet responsible nature. It gives you a natural ability to express affection to those close to you, without feelings of embarrassment. You tend to avoid issues, however, and put off until tomorrow the things which should be done today. Accordingly, you would find difficulty in achieving success in positions requiring aggressiveness and drive. Also, you prefer to avoid strenuous work of a manual nature. Your natural inclination is to pursue a line of work where you have contact with people, where you carry some responsibility, and where you are engaged in mental rather than physical activity. You are diplomatic in your handling of people and always give others the benefit of the doubt. You appreciate good music and art. The health weaknesses created by this name affect the fluid functions.
No commentsI once thought I was….
Some sort of useful person. Then I came to the realization I'm not, I'm just here for the plants sake. You konw convert Oxygen to CO2 , oh wait I am here to listen. Listening and watching two things I kick so much ass at it hurts. This isn't the normal I'm so down crap, no I don't do that anymore. Either I'm so depressed I can't leave bed or I'm just thinking. Kinda reflecting. More like just sitting here wondering if I should really make an effort to try and go for advancement in this company. I mean hell it'd look good on a resume, but at the same time it would mean more work for only a $0.50 raise. Not my idea of life in the fast lane.
Though that would help with a little bit more meat in my diet. Yeah more meat I'm not aggressive enough. Well I need to talk to my apts management to enquire about a possible move to a bigger apt in the complex. I might have a new roommate soon, depends on how I feel about gaining one and how bad it'll be to kill both our leases and such. We shall see, besides he has a computer I'm sure I could commandeer it a couple nights a week. Maybe?
Oh well lots of things to look at and examine and I've figured out why I'm here. I can't do anything else legally. *sigh* welp back to the grind.
No commentsFun stuff
They say its fun, but its not.
They say you'll like it, but frankly I'd rather be Bobbited.
I feel lied to, betrayed.
They told me it was for my own good, it wasn't.
They told me tha pain wouldn't last, it's still here.
I feel empty, lonely.
They lied to me, I never noticed.
They betrayed me, I don't care.
I feel nothing.
Random nothingness…
Random nothingness, thats all thats going through my head. Everything and nothing, and it makes sense in some sort of wierd fashion. But only to me, I tend to spend the majority of my deep convos explaining myself or even just trying to make it come out coherantly. Everything I say sounds good in my head, all my actions are justifiable there. But then reality comes knockin and I look around and people are staring or just looking at me with the same “Ooooooook” look as they desperately try and escape from my presense.
Most times I find this amusing. But today its making me feel alone, like nobody in the world can even really begin to understand me. People ask whats on my mind and I tell them, most often the response is wow I was just thinking of this. They wonder how I can have so many things running through my head yet work carry coherant convos and even try and figure out the meaning to life.
( BTW it involves a paper clip, a yin-yang, and a paper mache donkey, yeah doesn't make sense, but who thought the answer would be 42 )
I think I'm a lot less complicated that others or even myself seem to percieve me. But I do always have a lot on my mind and tend to get distracted easily. Colors tend to entrance me as does rythmic movement. You figure I would be more likely to watch porn if that was the case *chuckle*. But I don't I see beauty in rythmn and colors wierd but I see things differently appearantly. I can spend afternoons just watching the polar bears at the zoo. I can also just spend it watching people walk by and live life. I have no idea what I”m saying except I needed to ramble. Just kinda just well try and explain myself, though I'm not making much sense. We need more randomness in this world
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