I crashed out on my floor last night in my living room and woke up to my TV's timer flicking it on and to the news reports of this tragedy. It was so dream like I watched it with kind of a dispassionate eye, because I felt as if I was still dreaming and hadn't woken up. Then it finally hit me as I listen to the reports and eat my cereal, this has happened. My once thought saftey was no longer applicable. We are not the impenatrable country we once thought. Within hours lives were lost and affected. Its sad and I wish all those affected some semblence of comfort in the coming days.

It's interesting as well, because once again I've been branded as heartless or unfeeling because I do not show how this effects me. My poker face has been put into place once again. I just don't understand how people seem to consider me without feeling because I don't “share” all my feelings. At times it is better to just deal with it and be someone people can turn to for support, right? This sucks, I went to bed feeling safe, now I feel vulnerable.