I sit here thinking, and wondering, what exactly do I want and how will I go about it? And when I do figure these things out will it be the right answer? Will I always be able to trust my own judgement? I've made so many bad calls before, whats to stop this or any future decisions from bein the proverbial bad call? I mean, cripes, all the bad calls, ended up bein on the razor's edge of bein disasterous. One, I broke up with my fiance, and then visited her a couple weeks later, yeah bad idea specially when I met the new bf. I mean granted I came away from that unscathed while he went to the hospital with two broken arms, the fact is he wanted to hurt me. If it weren't for the fact that i'm a clutz and stumbled backwards and watched him tumbled past me to meet the ground down at the bottom of the stairs with his face.

On to the second bad mistake, hook up with an ex gf for the proverbial “last boost”. You know try and build up some padding in the coffers before I finish my move to be a law abiding citizen. Well she chose the wrong car, even I could've chosen a better one on the fly. I think she ultimately wanted to have me get caught, because the alarm goes of on her car just as the starter kill kicks in on mine as I try to cruise down the street. She books it over the fence, I follow to see her hop into a waiting car. Whoa whoa whoa I may be a slow kid but I can see a double cross that blunt. So I've decided I don't like police sirens, especially since it took me almost a half hour to lose the cops on my ass. BITCH!

Third, a life changing experience. Lets just say I listened to someone when they said the dosage would be fine. Well waking up in the ER was just a bad thing, specially since the effects had yet to wear off. Grrrrrr, don't listen to street bums *laugh* actually once again don't deal with ex gfs.

Anyway, for the current decision. All signs point to not a very good idea, but still its the whole allure of the excitement? It sounds like a good idea right now, but where will it end up? Is it worth the risk of the worst case scenerio? WHat the hell was today about anyway(Refer to previous entry)? Oh well I guess they were right when they said it's best to sleep on some things.

For the next 24 hrs all your decision making privilages have been removed

Maybe I need someone to tell me this and make the decision for me. Might make things prettier.