Hehe this was in the paper:

Define “Exceptionally Unlucky”:

Quitting drinking and smoeking- Then getting run over by a cigarette truck on the way to your AA meeting

How fun is that? So yeah I'm like perma distracted now, I will probably be so for the rest of my life. I don't have to actively think about things, they just come and go as they always have. More flowing and, well more distracted, but its how I've gone through life before, and its good to be back where I once was. I need to go home and clean that biznatch, its a losing battle as it is though, you know? I need to go, I need to stay, what I really need a refreshing alcoholic beverage. Mmmmmm as they say. Or I say, or you can say, but I wouldn't readily agree with you because well they say it so I intially don't want to go with it because I don't like “they” makes things a bit tougher ya know? Ack! I'm a ya know bitch right now! QUIT IT!!!! *smacking self*

Yeah I think I need to lay off the Scope, and get a real drink, whatta ya think. Ready to go home now, how bout you Bill? Hey did you know is the devil? Lil known useless trivia fact for for that NPH,

*SMIRK*

So yeah I'm stuck, you know what I mean..in that whole I'm gonna make my life better but I can't, why? Well I'm lazy, but I can change that, but I don't want too. Wait wait wait wait….it all stems from feelings of inadequecy right? Oh yes thats right, thats because I was molested as a child and now I don't know how to handle it, or it could be the fact that I haven't dealt with my friends death a long time ago. Nonononono, Iknow what it is, I need FOOD!!!!

Hungry

Hungry

Hungry

BBQ this SUN!!!

Let the booze and seared mammal flesh flow!!!!

I haven't done that in about two weeks, and in those two weeks I haven't been myself, sure I've been happy and such but I've been grumpy and prone to bouts of panic, this has been exacerbated by my recent involvement with my gf. At first I didn't understand why or how, but now it's becoming a bit clearer.

Last night I dreamt

I haven't dreamt in two weeks… I did last night, it was a pretty trippy dream I would think, but kind of stale when compared to my normal sleep time fare.

Without REM sleep, can one go insane?

I feel as if it might be the case, I was losing a grip on my sanity. Perhaps the only thing grounding me and not allowing me to escape (flee in terror) was my gf. I've had this happen before , and I disappeared for 3 days, I can't stand sleep without dreaming. I become listless, generally aggitated, needing some sort of release from it. I need to get away, get out, or just find something more fulfilling in life, or so it would seem.

I am happy, I just dont' dream

I need to dream, and now that I have I feel invigorated, refreshed. I'm ready to move on and get out of this hopeless pit of despair.

I'm sorry for those I might have disappointed last night

I felt exhausted and crashed out in my living room, I couldn't handle it. But I'm better finally, I dreamt…..

It was an odd dream but fun

I was hanging out with my friend Julia and we just kind of wandered all over the city together, when I started tlaking about needing a roomamte for a house. We went to her house(?)…and met my brother there, who then proceeded to get locked in the bathroom and I watched Julia's roommate get vaporized by some hidden assailant. But another friend of hers came in started talking about a sketchy looking guy wandering around the house. So went to investigate, alright I said house(?) because this is where it gets wierd. The front door had a pretty large ornate peephole and a wavy glasswindow on it. I notice a lot of these doors on the numerous rooms throught the house, as well as just anywhere in the hall way, freaky people and sketchy doods were running rampade in the 45+ room house. I made it back to the living room when some guy started trying to kick me and my lil bros ass, you know typical martial artist bad guy type. I woke up as me and my brother were running him down and actually trapped him in an alley and started to fight him again. Wierd….

But

I dreamt

I hope I dream more….