I haven't been able to for a while, nothing seems to make sense, nor does it seem to have any sotr of point. It's all kind of just there and kinda stream of conciousness. Not all there, not all here, just kinda there, never all here. Things always seem a bit hazy, things seem sharp and in focus, all except that one part, that part that would have it all make sense. Now once agian it doesn't make sense. I descend back into that hazy world again, fighting to make sense and find my way. Sometimes it feels as if its not worth going on. Other times there is an overwhelming sense of adventure that seems to pick me up and get me moving. Then the world is once again, exciting and interesting, I can't wiat to go out and try new things. I can't wait to get my three hours of sleep to see what the new day brings. Then the haze comes back, or in my case now its there all the time, it just seems to be less pronounced than before, and the meloncholy seems to strike at odd times. I dunno I'm just wierd.

On a brighter note I was told by that I cannot be a hired killer. I even sweetened the deal by sayin I'd do freebies for her and kill only “bad” guys. Didn't work, though she was receptive to the freebies offer. So, apparantly according to her wonderful logic, I can do as many freebies as I want, but I can't take money for killing. Uhhhhhhh, DER?!? I just wanna be kewl like all the hired killers in the movies. You know super uber spiffy, with all their nifty gadgets and high kill records, I wanna be those guys. Well that and money, thats kewl too. But yeah, I think its time to go off and try and make sense of things.