I don't care what happens to me anymore.
As far as I'm concerned the world can fuck me over and I'll just allow it to with a big shite eating grin on my face. Why?!? Oh I dunno I'm just tired of fighting for what I think will make me happy, only to find it is some sort of red herring. I'm tired of the endless chasing of my tail to find my happiness. I'm just tired. The only good thing in my life is my family, and yes I told you , I do consider you a part of my family. You always will be, but that seems to be the only positive I have in my life and I just get so tired. Thank you for putting up with all my shite and dealing with me in my tantrums and such, thanks to my whole family for not giving up on me a s a lost cause, for giving me love and support when I really needed it. I think I am missing a lot right now, I miss music and making it, I miss hitting parties and having them just renew my soul and my will to live. I need to get out and hit a party and then finally just get back to work on music, mayhap there is some sort of future there. I used to be talented, maybe I can find it again. I dunno I just feel so lost and insignificant, and when people ask me to explain myself I just get confused on how I feel. I'm ready for something, something new
whether its me gettin screwed or finding more happiness I don't care just give me something new. Help me enjoy life again.