Only seems to make sense for short periods of time. Then the inevitable curve ball is thrown and I have no idea what is going on again. Try as one might to keep things going well it seems that one misplaced word or action seems to crush the balance. I just don't know what to do sometimes I feel lost right now, everything I do or say seems to destroy things which are going well. I can't think anymore, things that made sense now don't, and the happy world I once knew is now descending back into that gloomy gray it has been for so long.

Before everybody thinks this is all about my relationship with , its only a part of why things seem to be going this way, most of the time its my only highlight. I just need something…”new”?…