and I talked last night a good talking too we got our fears and our frustrations out in the open and we both just listened. Niether of us really saw any reason to be defensive or whot not it was good good, the cuddle time was very nice as well. It was a good way to get past a bad day at work. I have to admit though I am changing, perhaps growing up?!? I got very frustrated before this great talk happened and I walked out of the apt with the full intent on leaving and going somewhere. Where?!? I don't know, but I need time to myself and time to think, at least thats how I used to rationalize it before. I realized my folly as I sat in the drivers seat, so I came back up, hey hey I think I see a bit o growth. Not only that when I first started dating her I was not known for being the most reliable person. I was prone to disappearing for days at a time and running off to fix things for family and such. As our relationship has progressed I have realized that I have a new thing to build and nurtue. There is more in the world than me, and now that I am to be a father soon I also realize I need to learn and step up to the plate. I've been overwhelemed the past few weeks, but now things feel better and it doesn't seem that tough, it I do need a life preserver I hope mah gurlie will provide one for me.

So apparantly Im makin a good impression at work, I was put in for staff trainer today, KEWL!!! Uhhhhhh is anybody else a trainer?!? And whot the hell does the STAFF denote?!? Do I get to rip apart our training program?!? Do I get to come in early morning and actually do the presentations for our Floor Manager?!? Ohhhhhhhh I think I hear that overtime clock ticking now! Hehehehe I dunno whot it means but I was informed of this after the meeting, as far as I know we don't have trainers, we just have the senior staff who kinda help build the newbies up, its kinda hard cuz a lot of em don't share their knowledge and you end up missing something important.. SO yeah I got this honor and I didn't even know it was comin to me, kinda like employee of the month, I was the first one they've had in like 8 months. they just revived it for me…awwww aren't I sped-cial?!? Anywho Im tired bored and hungry! Of to kill something eat it and sleep next to its carcass.