I am slowly losing patience with the people that I take care of at work. Tonight was a pretty slow and crappy night for me, but this just took the cake.

SwS: Scrooge who Stiffed me

SwS: *waves arms frantically as I try to walk by with a tray full of drinks*
Me: Did you need something?
SwS: Yeah my friend was wondering when you were gonna get a “real” job *chortles*
Me: *quick once over of the guy* Yeah? Well, my friend was wondering when you’d get a “real” hair piece. *walks away briskly*

Alright I know that was kind of rude, but this guy had been giving me grief the whole night and I think I got a total of $1 off of about $50 worth of drinks I ran for them. He was always paying to make himself look good for the woman he was with. I mean crap how many jobs do you know of where you can go in for 5 hours and walk with $50-100 dollars. Yeah Im running low on patience with people and Im not sure how long I will be able to keep my mouth in check.

This is pretty long so Im gonna cut it for ya. Read more

…the warranty expired.

As a child I always thought if I could fly everything would be better and more fun. The colors and feelings I associated with people would only be that much better and heightened with this magical power. As time went on I realized I couldn’t fly and there was a good reason, chubby Indians are not very aerodynamic, as I found out one day. I did experience a moment of total freedom then as my bike and I sailed through the air. The fact that waited eagerly to cause damage to my young body didn’t even cross my mind, until it rushed up and slammed itself into me. People talk about moments in their life being in slow motion, this would be one of those times for me. Read more

Sorry about the length, so Im gonna cut it for ya. Basically its how I was a smartass and made a bit of extra cash last week.

So Im waiting on a big party last week and thankfully someone told me they would handle the bill up too $200 this made my job easier since I dont have to split checks then…whew. Sadly we are one of the only places in town that will do such a thing to large parties, I think Im going to try and convince my managers otherwise because it is becoming a big pain, it doesn’t even really help the tip when I do al that work. Well this couple joins the party and I walk up to greet them. Read more