Sorry about the length, so Im gonna cut it for ya. Basically its how I was a smartass and made a bit of extra cash last week.

So Im waiting on a big party last week and thankfully someone told me they would handle the bill up too $200 this made my job easier since I dont have to split checks then…whew. Sadly we are one of the only places in town that will do such a thing to large parties, I think Im going to try and convince my managers otherwise because it is becoming a big pain, it doesn't even really help the tip when I do al that work. Well this couple joins the party and I walk up to greet them.

M = Me
FG = Funny Guy

FG: Tanguerey 10 * stares at me*
M: Okie….*trails off hoping he would complete the order*
FG: Well? *stare bores into my head*
M: *chuckles a bit* Well did you want that on the rocks, neat, up, tonic, seven, *gags and makes a face* with coke?
FG: *looks at his wife* Great here we go again.
M: * definitely confused now and ready to smack him for attitude* Where are we going?
FG: You know know Tang 10 is different from regular Tang, right?
M: *smirks* Yeah….so what would you like it with?
FG: Im sure this seems a bit confusing, but since you know you know its different I need to know if you have it *starts to seem aggitated* I don't want to seem like an ass, but…
M: *laughs* Ohhhhh, you're asking if we have it…yes we do…so what would you like with it?
FG: *looks sheepish* Tonic…
GF: Sapphire and Tonic, plz
I don't want to seem like an ass
* the look on his gf's face says too late*
M: *laughs again* Too late, but may I make a suggestion?
FG: Yes?
M: If you formulate your initial response as a question Im sure your server would be able to figure out that you want somethingand not assume that you are trying to order. That along with a hearty hello and a look in the eye of that same server will let them know that you are addressing them. Don't wanna seem like an ass,, don't be one. Just remember it's, “Do you have Tang 10?” This will help you avoid future snafus of this nature. Now that was a 10 and tonic and a sapphire and tonic, I'll be back.
*walks away with the snickers of half the table in my ears*

I recieved a five dollar tip from some random lady at the table for that, apparantly he tries to be snooty with his gin, Alright I like my gin but I would not call gin a snooty type of liquor. Scotch or pricey tequila maybe, but this is just gin. Besides to me Tang and Tang 10 taste the same…not like Bombay and Bombay Sapphire, where you can tell if someone is trying to pull a fast one on you.

The moral of the story is don't try to lord your drinks over someone who probably knows a bit more about them than you. If you got the wrong thing before its probably because you didn't ask. Something like that, I just thought it was amusing.