This new year seems almost no different to me, just another move for me in my pathetic attempt to make some semblence of making my life worth something. Then I wake up and see what I have a good home a great family in my future wife and my lil girl. While I may not have what I wanted to have when I got them, I think Im not doin to bad right now tryin to make a good home for the both of them.

This coming year I think the thing I will miss the most is sleep, and with that said I've been having some really wierd dreams.

In my dream my lil girl and I dealt with daily life for a great while and it was just the two of us. There was nobody around and we just kinda went through all the normal routines she and I had set up. I looked throughout the house for any sign of and coudn't find any. No clothes and her name wasn't on any bills I happen to come across. Wierd. Well I wanted to know what happened to her and I went ona search for her one day, well the search ended as I opened my front door and ended up in the dream house I dreamt of my death in. I walked into the entrance and sat down on a one of the wooden benches flanking the entrance to this atrium. The tree growing in the middle was as beautiful as ever, just reaching for the sky and wanting to be free. I stared at it trying to figure out what was goin on when I realized I was alone. On either side of me were drawings of me or what seemed to be drawings. One was ink, which lent it a dark and dreary look, especially with all the heavy shading that was used for him and the other was a pencil sketch that was so light it almost seemed to be fading and getting washed out.

I looked at the both of them and asked them why I was there.
The light one said “Change”
The dark responded with “Whatever”
I asked various questions about my life and the direction it is heading in and recieved about the same response each time. I finally asked why they tormented me so when they both looked and laughed and said….
“Balance is gone!”
They continued to laugh as I woke up to my baby's hungry cries.
I was freaked out the whole time I took care of my baby, but she fell asleep quickly and I went back to sleep, and ended up in the central stair well of this house sitting on a step wondering where was again. I felt a kick on my back and turned around to see who it was, but nobody was there. This happened about four more times when I finally saw a lil girl about 8 or so who looked exactly as Riley had in my dream except she was a greyscale picture of herself. I caught her leg and asked her what she wanted.
“Nothing,” she replied.
“Who are you,” I asked.
She giggled a bit and then smiled as she said, “DON'T YOU KNOW?!? I'm your balance.”

WHOA!!

I woke up right after that and have been wondering what they hell this dream means.

I know the future is uncertain, but I also know that the future will be fun and full of adventure with my girls. So I guess its off to catch a cat nap before Ri wakes up, see ya!