I remember when that's what I wanted to be, just a dreamless sleeper. My dreams would show me worlds I could not fathom or control. They always had a beat and a certain way of movement, whether it was the movement of the sky or the movement of time, there was always that constant around to help me remember it was dream. As time progressed I learned to control certain aspects of my dreaming. I learned to not die when I should have been dead. I learned to close my eyes and move to a different locale if my dreams became too intense. I also learned how to wake up on comand if something began to happen in a way I couldn't handle. This was pretty exciting, though the method of learning was through sleepless dreaming (read: psychotropics). My exploration has actually left me with a lot of residuals which kinda of make life interesting as much as they detract from it. I don't know how to explain it but I've always fel t like Im not all here, or at least all of me isn't that interested in the whole living life thing,

I've always felt empty unless Im dreaming, at which point I feel whole and can normally keep a grip and wander around. There are those times though…I just think some things in the human psyche are better left unknown. I have taken delight in many acts of violence and needless destruction. I've seen the worst my “soul” has to offer and I want none of it. I think this actually helps me normally be a mellow person and be a bit wacky.

Argh! I try to have meanful posts and poof they go wonky. I need sleep. Sleeping without dreams for a while, they are starting to stress me out.