I've tried to lay down and sleep about three times now and each time is failing miserably, so Im hoping that I'll pass out as I type this update of sorts. So now Im officially married and really kind of enjoying myself as I embark on this new journey. Things have finaly calmed down in the household and we can focus on the important things. Making room for all our new kewl stuff, our kid, and the dream of a car someday. As I said more important things to think about and do. I really have nothing to say as I search my tired mind for something witty, to put in this thing to entertain you all.

I think I will make a compilation of what I've started to call the Rules of Machismo, to make it even cooler I could call it something snappy like, Codex Machismo, sound good? yeah I thought the same thing, I should really go to bed and sleep on this one. This has been thought for the pure and simple fact that movies and society seem to want men to handle situations certain ways, no matter how absurd the conditioned response. I think I'll post a few amusing ones here.

1) This is the machismo stare down. This happened in a car chase in the movie Reign in Darkness to a laughable extent. They race and weave and bob and the protagonist cuts off his prey forcing his prey to stop his car, they stare and the dood just hits the gas and escapes our protagonist for a few more minutes. What happened there? Well in the Codex Machismo, what happened was a conditioned need to “show” your opponante you are superior. You know a mind job, rather than jumping out of your vehicle and exerting the force to “illustrate” your superiority.

2) Next is the chest bump. Yes, you need to chest bump for every little victory. Even opening your beer can. No nifty movie illustrations, but by watching frat boys, you will see the futility of trying to reason with them that the chest bump needs to go. I will admit however that chest bumps for the sake of mocking those who “really” chest bump is perfectly acceptable.

I know there are more and I know has laughed and mocked some of my rules, so more will follow. On a slightly related side note, I successfully intimidated a couple guys at a bar during my bachelor party. This makes me feel like the strong protector I was meant to be. It was quite funny to hear tha change in the guys voices and expressions when they realized I was swooping in to defend my wife's penis straw. Yeah come on guys you put it in the ashtray why? Ohhhh, you thought it was yours…so this is a good physical representation of your penis? Hrm…you know they have pills for those types of inadequecies. We know you're sorry, keep it that way and make your way out of the bar. Thank you.