I haven't been updating lately because of the mix of emotions I feel. So I think I will post them into categories right now just to get it all off my chest, the good and the bad.

The bad:

• Right now we have no hope of getting the car as planned this semester
• I don't broach the subject of the car often because Im sure my beautiful wife feels somewhat responsible for that issue, but it seems as if the lack of car affects me more directly than her.
• It became painfully apparent that I can't last much longer without a car the other night when I got a call at work with both my girls in tears. I practically ran home from work, which sucked.
• I really would like to buy a new car because Gus doesn't have all the extras I would like, not only that I think he's only worth $800 right now and that's with the cd player installed, take that out and you lose $100 of his value
• Im just getting tired of relying on others to help me get from work and get random errands done
• Work
• I feel like all the wrong people are getting all the goodness at work, and that all my hard work counts for nothing.
• I've finally started my way into the kitchen, since Ive no real want to stay on the floor besides my few die hard regulars who keep coming in
• Did I mention how I think the wrong people are getting the accolades at work?
• Im tired of “the customer”, Ive no patience or love for them anymore, especially since the average tip has seemed to fallen after the holidays.
• My daughter's inability to sleep
• Yeah no sleep and not too much success in the rest of my life are taking their toll
• This is leading to a lot of contention between the two love birds known as parents
• Money
• Yeah we don't have enough and we are barely subsitance living, so I often wonder if we can even afford a car when we get one
• The fact that barely enough money comes in to take care of us leads me down the dark road of realizing that without my daughter we wouldn't be in these financial straits, this line of thinking has kept me up many a night because I don't like it and I feel guilty

The muthafuckin good! Yeah I need more good Im sure but these keep me goin

• My immediate family (Tha gurls)
• Im sure it's an old cliche but it's a good one. They keep me goin and keep me sane in my darkest hours
• Being in total infatuation with the woman I married
• Yeah I don't think I've lost the whole total infatuation with my wife, she knows this because I tell her I love her.
• If anybody has kept me sane and capable of dealing with the world at large it's been her, my rock and comfort.
• Thanx baby
• My family's support
• This includes mum/aba/bros/sis and extended fam, everybody who has helped with rides babysitting and just general venting grounds
• This does not include, however, my lil bros latest drama, UGH!
• The fact that at least where I work right now I kind of enjoy
• I love my co-workers and most of my management, Im just tired of giving money suggestions and not being heard
• The fires of finding new employment being rekindled
• I figure if I can find a new job that happens during the day I can just take the bus and not worry too much about a car
• Or even a new resturant with easy money and better hours, late nights and babies do not make for happy household
• Again my immediate family
• It's amazing how love and cuteness really do make things easier to deal with

This seems like a bleak post as I read back into it, but I figure well I need one of those to help me remember what's good and keeps me goin. Now I need to go get read for work and make sure a baby gets snacks, piss off!