I was thinking last night about my demeanor lately.
I've been bitter and angry, and not supportive of all the shopping lately.
I realized it was because i was bitter about all the money we spent on the trip.
We could have definitely had our car back up and running without it.
I never wanted to talk to my wife about it because Im sure she would have felt guilty and not excited about the trip.
I didnt want that, I want her to have fun.

I also want her to find out if she can handle international flights for our traveling later on.
I want her to enjoy this week and have lots of fun, not fret about money.
So I figured I would just spend a lotta money when my mid life crisis hits.
HA! Ima bastard.

Actually I told her how I felt last night and it led to no harsh words or even hurt feelings.
this whole day I've felt happy and almost joyous, sadly the house is slow to be cleaned up.
I've been trying but something extends its will against me and my cleaning efforts.
Im about to do some laundry to thwart the anti-cleaning vibe.

The will would be Riley, she decimates all I clean.
Maybe more will get done tomorrow.

I still lament not having direction right now.
But it's not as horrific as I once thought it was,
Maybe i should go to school and take a couple clases I'll actually enjoy.