So i have been officially married for 1 year.
This amazes me more than scares or intimidates me.
That year just flew by, and now we are on to the next.
What will it bring? It seems like it will be even harder than this last year, however it sounds more fun too.

I often lament not having perfect credit or finding a spouse with perfect credit.
No house or even a car right now and barely living from month to month.
I'll admit if anything causes me to break down it's going to be money, but for the most part we seem to survive and keep goin.
Although my friends are convinced that I am depressed or even lacking in happiness.
This really isn't true, it's more of a feeling of disappointment in myself for not being able to provide for my family as I feel I should.
You know I don't have that stable job or even have a house and dog for us.
This could attribute to my funk, I refuse to believe the words depression, that would just prove the stupid shrink(s) right.

Im no more or less than I was before, am I?
I read my journal from the beginning of my journal and realized that the person who wrote those entries was just off, I miss him.
What is fundamentally different is it stress? If so how do I can it and just get back to the fun loving person I once was.
I think what is killing me the most is freedom. I feel confined, this should be remedied soon though if H and I can refrain from having another month like June.

I never realized how finacially exhausting a birthday, Father's day, and our anniversary would be.
Of course I never really realized that all those fell in this month either.
Im still waiting on my anniversary present but it appears that I might just save it for a kick ass xmas present ;P
Or just until we have the funds to buy a present. I am quite proud with my aquisition for 's present but still kind of irked in the execution of its transfer. Yeah I dropped the ball on that one.

As for news:
- My daughter is supposed to see a speech therapist because of her dr's concerns of slow speech developement
-/+ H shared those concerns for a while, but is now in the camp of Riley will talk when she is ready, with me
+ At her last dr's visit she was supposed to only get 1 shot as opposed to the normal 2
- They came back and gave her the 2 since someone on a previous visit had messed up the records
+ We may have a car soon, a couple of our friends want to sell their car to us if the recieve a promised Explorer from her work
-/+ Slow oil leak and a broken spedometer, but it will get us from point A to point B, so Im game
+ Another one of our friends is moving to England in Dec and she wants to sell us her car as well
+ She also wants someone to take care of her cats, Im tempted just so we can have pets and not have to worry about vet costs, she will cover them as well as a monthly stipend for their essentials
+ We made it a year and with relatively low casualties
- We did have our moments though
+ We've got a whole lotta time left to have fun and raise a ruckus
- H's family seems to be distant towards us lately, I just don't dunderstand that one. They have alwasy had the ball in their court since we haven't had a car, yet they like to complain about how they never see R or H when they have to power to make it so.
+ My family has helped us more than I ever though possible
-/+/- It'll probably end when my bro's baby is born. He's coming back up. He's still lost and has yet to find his way.

Essentially life is moving along, good/bad/indifferent, it's all been the same lately, I've just gotta find that joy I once had. Anybody up for a quick rave?!?