So being a parent is not conducive when one gets offered free Dave Mathew’s tickets only hours before the show. I even tried to find a babysitter, however, I figured my daughter would hate me for eternity if I happened to yet get another babysitter today. I woulda been fun because the group we would have gone with would have been muy fun. Almost as fun as running into my friend Chopper at the BNL/Alanis concert. I think he and my wife are now pseudo soul mates. They both try to get me onstage when it comes to kareoke and well both love BNL. Punks. Funny how I used to get made or even a bit down when I couldn’t make it to these things. But lately I almost prefer to spend time at home. Although time out with my wife on a more regular basis would be nice. She is only lucky that she is so incredibly cute and precious. Observe her cuteness in all its glory Read more

Im seething, just a huge cauldron of anger, or even just a bag o angst. I don’t know where it comes from, maybe it’s the whole not having an enjoyable job anymore. Or perhaps it’s the fact that I don’t have that “good job” to support my family with. I couldn’t find a babysitter today so no job hunting for Robbo, but I plan to get on it real soon. Hopefully Monday or even tomorrow. I just don’t think I can continue to work at a place that I care less and less about. I hardly even know who I am at that store anymore. I think my soul has literally been sucked out of me. It wasn’t even corperate America that did it. Yep time to move on hopefully. I’ve heard of decent paying jobs around the city, now I just need to figure out how to get to them and how to get the jobs. Im hoping to get a job with my friends Pam or Edmund just so we can keep in touch and Im not new alone. That is one of the many reasons I have yet to look for a new wait job or resturant job. I don’t want to go through being low man on the totem poll or even training again. I can’t take that kind of pay cut right now. The other reason is the fact that this is the second fukin job that I’ve been so close to tending bar that I could taste it. We have only 2 “great” bartenders, 1 “good”, 2 “majorly sucky”. Im sure I could tips the scales or at least make the 2 greats some support. Im going to change something, as we speak Im paying bills and attempting to fill out the FAFSA as I try to create a mix cd. Well here’s to hopin.

So i have been officially married for 1 year.
This amazes me more than scares or intimidates me.
That year just flew by, and now we are on to the next.
What will it bring? It seems like it will be even harder than this last year, however it sounds more fun too. Read more

I have aged another year, and learned a few things. Read more

So my wife has left, she is gone for a week and a day.
I thought I’d be strong, not a nerd.
However, my brain wants to conspire against me.
When I have a quiet moment I can literally hear tha abacus clicking away and calculating the precise minute/second/nanosecond she should be back.
I am a huge nerd.

I was thinking last night about my demeanor lately.
I’ve been bitter and angry, and not supportive of all the shopping lately.
I realized it was because i was bitter about all the money we spent on the trip.
We could have definitely had our car back up and running without it.
I never wanted to talk to my wife about it because Im sure she would have felt guilty and not excited about the trip.
I didn’t want that, I want her to have fun. Read more

i feel empty again,
But I feel happy too.
Strange how they works, hey?!?
My family makes me happy and I am happy around them.
This insidious sadness and deep despair seems to be only a grumpy moment away.
My dreams are getting dark and morbid now.
Disjunct images and random voices.
Worse yet is the occasional scream. Read more

Lately my girls have ben sick and I’ve been patiently waiting for my body to kick my ass and make me sick too. It’s only minor discomfort right now and I hope that’s all it does, but I fear for the worst.
Things have seemed to gotten better around our household since I was smacked out of my stupid male grumpiness.
Amazing how her words had have a more profound effect than her death glare.
In an attempt to try and make our situation more fun for me I’ve decided to dress up and try to whore myself out at a job fair. Read more

I remember when I wanted nothing more than that.
Now I want to live.
Not simple survival, but live a full life.
I want to see the world again with the person I love.
I want to show my daughter the world I’ve seen and do see through my eyes.
I want to hoard my memories and pass them on to her when she is old enough to appreciate them.
I want the world to feel the what I any party I went too.
i just want! Read more

I haven’t been updating lately because of the mix of emotions I feel. So I think I will post them into categories right now just to get it all off my chest, the good and the bad. Read more

Life is one big hairy stress ball right now and Im just trying to stay afloat. im trying to be a good dad, but I often wonder if I really am.
Im short tempered lately
I feel off from the rest of the world.
I look at my daughter and think there is so much more i could be offering to her.
Money stops it all. (The fact that we have none)
Lately I’ve been feeling depressed and alone.
I feel like Im losing my sanity one piece at a time.(Slowly ever so slowly) Read more

Stupid Opera!
I was in the middle of a post.
It decided to close for some odd reason.
I need to start over again,

HAPPY BDAY RI!!!!!!!!!!!!! Read more

Or love you,
Maybe smack you,
If you’re into that kinky stuff. Read more

Alright so Im finaly gettin off me arse and getting aroudn to trying to tear this article apart. I’ve kind of loathed to do it because well the piece was trash and it almost doesn’t deserve to have a rebuttal or even someone to say how much mis-information is in it. I would hate to think that people think that a lot of this is true.
Here is the article I am am talking about Click here, tis drug related

As for my response: Read more

I can’t sleep because the babies may eat me…
Ugh, why do babies try so hard to get the most dangerous and stressful (for the parents at least) in their hands and their lil bellies. Read more